Politicians, penises and peals of laughter with Pieter-Dirk Uys

Pieter Dirk Uys prepares his make-up for Evita Bezuidenhout as part of a character sketch of his enduring character, Nowell Fine, in his show, Desperate First Ladies, at Rhodes Theatre this week.
Photo by Caeri Dunnell

Still the Krokodil. Pieter Dirk Uys as P.W Botha, in his show, Desperate First Ladies.
Photo by Caeri Dunnell

Pieter Dirk Uys as a Sarah Palin look-alike working in the White House, in his show, Desperate First Ladies.
Photo by Caeri Dunnell

Pieter Dirk Uys as Grace Mugabe.
Photo by Caeri Dunnell

Peals of laughter, embarrassed giggles and shocked chuckles filled the Rhodes theatre, as Pieter-Dirk Uys entertained the audience on Tuesday night.
Uys was in Grahamstown to perform his show, “Pieter-Dirk Uys and the Desperate First Ladies”, at the Rhodes Theatre.
Uys pulled one political joke after the other and slipped effortlessly between different costumes and personas. His first impersonation, of PW Botha, left one wondering if they were, in fact, relatives. Wearing his broederbond pakkie, an orange, white and blue sash, and with his cheeks puffed out, pressed together platypus lips and an accusatory waggling finger, some audience members were no doubt transported to the past.
“Politicians are like monkeys: The higher they climb up the pole of ambition, the more of their assholes we can see. When we look up we see POEPHOL!” shouted Uys at some point.
Mother Theresa even made an appearance, managing the phone line in heaven, while the angels were on strike. She couldn’t help reminding Muslim terrorist bombers that “If you blow yourself up in a supermarket, you’ll come to heaven in pieces!”
Before Uys’s most famous character, Evita Bezuidenhout, made an appearance, her stripper sister, Bambi Kellerman, educated the younger members of the audience on how to protect their "members" in moments of passion. The blush factor in the audience increased significantly as she whipped out two differently coloured rubber penises to do a condom demonstration.
Other politically related figures who underwent the wrath of Uys during the show were Winnie Mandela, "the mugger of the nation"; Grace Mugabe, "Darth Vader in drag" and Indira Gupta, "the Indian mafia woman".
Finally, after a two-hour build-up, Tannie Evita made her appearance, fake eyelashes and all.
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she gushed.
It wasn’t long before she took a jab at the Eastern Province – “You’re the only province that steals its own deficit!” she said with a chuckle.
Uys left the stage with a wildly excited audience clapping, cheering and some giving a standing ovation.

Pieter Dirk Uys in the Rhodes Theatre dressing room after the show this week. He says packing away his costumes is the 'third act' of his show.
Photo by Caeri Dunnell

Published in Grocott's Mail on 1 April 2011.